Daily Create 1614, or, in Gobblefunk, Todaydlebop Makemshmee #1614 is to create a slogan for ds106 using Gobblefunk. Here’s mine:

Do Yourself a Crodscollop!

Tired of just sitting there whizzpopping all day long? Don’t want to be bopmuggered, crodsquinkled and gunzlewiped in the boring hornswoggles of the Internet, bapsqaggling all the live long day?

Well, now you can portedo yourself to cromulence with exundly what you need to break free from the filthsome swigpill!

And that whoopsy splunkers is ds106! An open free time twiddling thing that can make your phizzwizzards come true! Join now before you are lixivated. You’ll have a frothbuggling good time!

Daily Create 1605 Canadian Ona Corkum, Thunder Bay’s penultimate foot doctor, made an unlikely friend last month off the coast of Puerto Rico. Ona has had a fear of water all of her life and was determined to master this fear by going on an all inclusive cruise through the Caribbean.

She had had a couple tee many martoonis when she slipped on a plate of jumbo shrimp that Italy’s Caterina Giannantonio had placed on the boatdeck while she refilled her margarita. The resulting crash ended up with Ona and Caterina somehow laughingly tangled up in three separate chaise longes to the delight of 150 other passengers on the deck at the time.

Six of those passengers had the wherewithal to film it and even get together to splice and edit the footage into a six second Vine complete with dubstep music. The duo became minor cruise ship celebrities for the remainder of the trip and have stayed in touch ever since.

image credit: www.flickr.com/photos/highlander411/

As a Canadian, the name John Johnston reminds me immediately of Tom Thompson, one of our best painters. Today, for Daily Create 1592, we write a poem for John! Well, lucky me, another famous group of Canadians wrote a song about Tom Thomspon, so now I have a template to borrow to add some words for John. Hope you’re okay with some 90s CanRock, John!

Here is my version of Three Pistols, by The Tragically Hip, for John Johnston.

Well, John Johnston came 106ing past
I’m pretty sure it was him
And he spoke so softly in accordance
To the GLOWing of the dim
He said, “Bring on a brand new disruption
‘Cause I think I’m ready
Well, I’ve been futzing all night long
But my voice is steady”

image credit: Tom Thompson’s Jack Pine National Gallery of Canada

Alanis Morissette updated her lyrics to ‘Ironic’ so I thought, if she can do it, I can do it too, only not as well! So for today’s Daily Create, in which we discover the Hotel 106 has the same ridiculous checkout policy as the Hotel California, we have revised lyrics! Think of the Don Henley serenading you as you read the lyrics:

Hotel 106

On a dark super highway, cool thoughts in my head
Warm smell of coffee, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the monitor, I saw a blinking cursor
My head grew heavy and my ideas grew dim
I had to skip a few lyrics
hmmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmmm hmmm;
I heard the Twitter bell
And I was thinking to myself,
“I should probably be doing something else”
Then they lit up a Daily and they showed me a way
There were GIFfies down the Tweetdeck stream,
I thought I saw them loop…

Welcome to the Hotel One Oh Si-ix
Such a learny place (Such a learny place)
At whatever pace
Plenty to learn at the Hotel One Oh Si-ix
Most time of year (Most time of year)
You can find it here

My mind is GIFfany-twisted, I got the WordPressy bends
I got a lot of witty, witty peeps I calls friends
How they dance in syndication, sweet creative sweat.
Some Tweet to remember, some just plain forget

So I called up the CogDog,
“Please post me Create”
He said, “We haven’t had that silliness here since, oh last Tuesday”
And still those blog posts are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of work
Just to see their Create…

Welcome to the Hotel One Oh Si-ix
Such a learny place (Such a learny place)
At whatever pace
They livin’ it up at the Hotel One Oh Si-ix
What a nice domain (what a nice domain)
Bring your own stories

Mirrors of the webpage,
The pink text hard to see
And she said “We are all just blog posters here, on our own device”
And on the master pages,
They aggregated for the feast
They click it with their electric mice,
And they just won’t stop the flow

Last thing I remember, I was
tweetin daily creates
I had to find the hashtag back
To get a place on the leaderboard
“Relax, ” said the DogTrax,
“We are programmed to Create.
You can post them any time you like,
But you can’t catch Ron_2008! “

When I woke up this morning, I had a feeling I would be spending a few minutes today writing a back story for Medieval Death Bot for Daily Create 1571. It’s just so obvious. Here it goes:

John de Waltham, struck upon his head with malice in 1322 by John Myng in the lane called “Shitebournelane”

— Medieval Death Bot (@DeathMedieval) April 17, 2016

When one is unfortunate enough to be born and bred on ‘Shitebournelane’, one has to deal with a lot of shite-talking from the nearby, higher class streets like ‘Nottoobavenue’,  ‘Decentlivingdesac’ or even the really fancy ‘Cuppladentistsliveherevard’.

And so it was in mid-June of 1322 that Johnny ‘No Soap’ De Waltham of Nottoobavenue sauntered through Shitebournelane, tossing out his usual stream of clever yet foul invective at anyone who had the misfortune of being ‘of Shitebournelane’, for the last time.

The irascible John Myng had heard enough. John De Waltham had called his mother a ‘Fustylug’ for the last time. Mr. Myng struck John de Waltham on the cranium with a brick that had fallen off of his house just that morning. It was generally seen as an overreaction by all. John Myng went to jail and rightly so as murder was a crime even back then.