My attempts at triple trolling always seem to end up a 2 vs. 1 situation. See, for example, how I unfairly pitted Joe Strummer against Justin Bieber and Nickelchad. I’m sorry again, Joe. This time it’s another unfair fight as Caillou and Mark Zuckerberg join annoying forces against BBQ Bill Shankelbean and, by extension, openness. We need a new word for this. Juxtaposing doesn’t quite cut it. More like juxtaimposing, amirite? tdc1509
Play the audio above as you listen to this tale of woe. And read slowly to get the full effect.
audio courtesy of: Sound Transit
All Canadians know, in order to travel from one place to another in the same province, whether it be as tiny as Prince Edward Island or as huge as Quebec or Ontario, you have to travel via Moffat, Scotland. The reason for this is no one noticed Brian Mulroney, who owns Moffat Industries in Moffat, Scotland, put the requirement in the Charlottetown Accord and then snuck it in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms for good measure. It’s actually written in pink highlighter on the back.
So it was, and as you are hearing, when I found myself heading from Montreal, Quebec to Vallee Bras Du Nord, Also Quebec, I had to take a small plane across the Atlantic, Canoe back and then hike through knee deep maple leaves just to get there. And by the time I finally arrived in Vallee Bras Du Nord, I had forgotten why I wanted to go there in the first place, so I headed right back to Montreal via Moffat. tdc1508
The Triple Troll, in spirit, is meant to irritate fans of three different things at once. This one went in a little bit of a different direction. This one will only irritate one fandom and the others won’t care at all. They are nihilists. They are too exhausted.
I trolled myself really, in the end. At first it was all ‘ha, ha, hoo, hoo’ put Bieber lyrics on a Nickelchad picture…hahahaha…. But then it got dark by adding two wonderful words: Joe Strummer. I’m sorry Joe. You said the future is unwritten. Does that mean we can unwrite this?
tdc1504 Jerry Jones was a dead ringer for Jesse James… In the looks department, but not so much the brains department. He traveled from town to town looking for ways to get unstuck from the sticky situations he often found himself in. Usually involving glue.
TDC1503 How would I do this ? Well, I would hop on the Steel Horse I Ride (Chromoly Alloy Steel Tubing to be precise) which I have rendered into history using like 30-35 pixels in our featured image above (and to the right. It’s small so I used it twice). That’s me beside it. But I wouldn’t go very far west. I’m just going for a bike ride and want to get home at a reasonable hour. I’m already west of lots of things.
tdc1502 Apparently there are always two sides to every cloud but I only see one from where I am. How can we be so sure? Either way, it’s important to always listen to each and every cloud. And name them all. You should definitely name them. These two are called Cloudy (on the right), and Clowdy (on the left).